ULTIMATE TEAMMATE

Why body language is hurting your playing time?

93% of communication is nonverbal.

The single most important factor that influences a coach (in any sport) when determining playing time is trust. The coach awards the bulk of the minutes to the players they trust the most. Simple as that. As a player, the next logical question is, “how do I earn the coach’s trust so I can get more playing time?”. There is no one answer and preferences can vary by coach, but I will tell you that a major part of building trust between you and your coach is your body language. Body language communicates so much, intended or not. Coaches are masters at reading body language so how you react in both good and bad situations will help or hurt your chances to grow the trust your coach has in you.

As a current coach and former player I will say that negative body language will break (or diminish trust) more than good body language will build trust. It may not seem fair but it’s just the way humans are wired. We are more likely to remember the negative. So knowing that as a player, you want to avoid repeated episodes of poor body language. Any of the following qualify as bad body language:

• No (or limited) eye contact when coach (or teammate) is speaking with you or addressing the team
• Shaking your head immediately following instruction, correction or any form of coaching
• Hanging your head (usually accompanied by sloped shoulders)
• Glazing over or seeming confused/puzzled at why your coach would be saying something to you or treating you a
  certain way
• Untucking your jersey and storming off the court/field when you are taken out of the game
• Pointing your finger at someone else who you feel should be the target of the correction or advice
• Isolating yourself and sitting at the end of the bench, away from your teammates
• Beginning to get dressed into your regular clothes before the game or practice has officially finished

* Keep in mind that the above list is not exhaustive, but merely a small sampling of things a coach notices.

Another very important point is that negative body language is not to be confused with disagreement. Coaches are not perfect and as a player you have every right to disagree with them BUT…and this is crucially important…it’s how you go about showing this disagreement that is the key. A positive response in front of the entire team followed by a private conversation with the coach or teammate AFTER the heat of the moment is generally the best approach (see 4:00 mark in this tribute speech by Gregg Popovich for Tim Duncan for an example).

One last thing to clarify is that indifference (or glazed over look) will negatively impact a team just as much if not more than an active negative response. This look tells a coach or teammate that you have completely ‘checked out’ and have no desire or passion to change your behaviour or actions on the court. 

The rest of this post will be broken down into three sections:
1. Why do players project negative body language?
2. What does positive body language look like? And,
3. What does positive body language tell your coach and teammates, and why is this important?

For a player to begin the process of improving their body language they must first identify the reasons why they are reacting the way they are to a situation. This is going to require humility, an open mind and some honest self-reflection.

1. Why do players project negative body language?
Most of the following reasons stem from the root of the problem….selfishness. However, there is some value in mentioning the other potential reasons, even if it’s only to help players to self-identify. If you’ve thought any of these thoughts…chances are you’ve demonstrated some “less-than-stellar” body language to a coach or teammates.

• Playing the victim - “I’m being treated unfairly and the coach would have never said that to them” or “How come he/she gets away with that but not me?!”
• Feeling sorry for yourself – “ Coach always gets mad at me…I’ll never be the player he/she wants me to be….I can’t do anything right!”
• Arrogance – “Coach doesn’t have a clue what they’re talking about so I am not listening to another word that comes out of his/her mouth”
• Frustration - Things aren’t going your way on the court so rather than compose yourself and give an affirming response to a coach or teammate…you shake your head or do the palms up “get off my back!” response
• Blaming others – “How dare coach get mad at me or correct me for something that wasn’t even my fault. If that person did their job I wouldn't have been in that position!”
• Feeling attacked – this one is tricky…because coaches are human and may not always respond or act in the best way under pressure or when the game is on the line. However, players must assume (hopefully because this has been communicated repeatedly outside of the heat of competition) that a coach wants the best for that player and ultimately the team. So, regardless of whether a coach raises their voice (yells) or not…this does not excuse bad body language as a response to being coached.

2. What does positive body language look like?
Positive body language is simple and straightforward and because it’s non-verbal, you don’t need to worry about crafting some eloquent response! Here are some markers of someone that is engaged and listening to the feedback they are receiving from a coach or teammate:

• Eye contact
• Nodding or some physical acknowledgement of what is being communicated
• Smiling (positive look)
• Probably the most important sign is that indescribable “fire in the eyes” that all coaches know when they see it. This basically communicates to a coach that you have heard what they said and will be doing what you want of them to the best of your ability at every opportunity. One or all of the above responses usually accompanies this “fire in the eyes” as well.

Another good piece of advice that I found from this great article from the folks at PGC is, “listen, with intent to understand. Miscommunication happens when we listen with intent to reply”. Listen to what your coach is saying before immediately trying to respond…you’d be surprised how this will help improve your body language.

3. What does positive body language tell your coach and teammates, and why is this important?

• Instills confidence and signals to your coach and teammates that you are listening and that you have “bought in” and will apply what they are teaching/coaching
• Shows you want to improve
• Shows you are more concerned about helping the team succeed than dealing with a perceived injustice in that particular moment. It shows you being unselfish.
• Demonstrates you are confident because you don't feel the need to defend yourself or legitimize your actions
• Shows you are mentally tough and emotionally strong and that despite the potential turbulence happening around you…you are able to positively affirm a coach or teammate 

A team’s culture hinges on the body language of its members. Watch any successful team and see how they react to their coaches and teammates under pressure and I guarantee you’ll mostly see players that give some semblance of positive body language. Some players are more subtle with how they respond, but you certainly will not see much of the negative body language responses outlined at the beginning of this post.

So next time you find yourself ready to slough off your coach or look away when you are being corrected…stop yourself and think about how that action impacts your team. It may seem subtle but bad body language spreads across a team, is very detrimental to success, and can stifle cohesion and growth. If you feel like your bad body language is legitimized because you are being picked on or your coach doesn’t like you then try to remember this statement uttered by one of my former coaches, “If I stop yelling at you or coaching you then you should worry…because I’ve decided I’m just not playing you in games”. Coaches challenge the players they feel have potential and can positively contribute to the team’s success. How will you respond the next time a coach or teammate challenges you? Will you affirm and respond positively or will you revert back to blaming or feeling sorry for yourself?